His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
