how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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