Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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