Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
40s are totally the cure
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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