hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
