Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They have beer where we have blood.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
