Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
