six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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