so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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