so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
