THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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