Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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