love makes seman taste better
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
