mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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