Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
