Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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