Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
