i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
