oh god the rape fog is back!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
