i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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