I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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