Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
