took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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