Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
