I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
