I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
