She said her name was "party"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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