He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
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Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
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You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal