Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.