So drunk, too bad you don't want this
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.