1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
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it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?