absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
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Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
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When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.