The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
