there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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