he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
