I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
