I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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