kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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