WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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