Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
