This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
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He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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