it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
