Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
