your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Barsexuality is the new black.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
