I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
pray to the hookup gods
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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