Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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