He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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