Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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