No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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