sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
