Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
