Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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