lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
