I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
