i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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