Don't you send me to vm
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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