yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
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its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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