Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
How external is "for external use only"?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
