This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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