Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
