There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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