Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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